Five Frequent Dating Questions for Beginners

February 1st, 2013

dating tips 2There is no shame in being a beginner in the complex world of dating, nor does a prescription date (or age) exist, after which one is no longer allowed to be a beginner. A dating newbie can just as well be a kid fresh out of high-school, or a newly single man in his forties, who is trying his best to get back in the proverbial saddle and put himself out there again. The questions that arise during that period of initial trials and tribulations often transcend age barriers – even experience. Here are some of the questions that dating coaches are most often confronted with.

  1. 1.      Q: Where can I meet women? A: Anywhere! That’s right. There is no generally applicable rule that says you can only meet someone you can form a bond with at the organic grocery store, the library, the park, or the wildest club on a five-mile radius. As you might have already noticed, female humans frequent all sorts of places, and while some might be more appropriate for striking up a conversation than others (think ‘bar versus free clinic’), you never know when someone you genuinely like decides to show up and blow your mind away. How to properly meet a woman is an entirely different thing, which relies on a combination of appropriateness, approachability, and self-confidence. For the time being, though, make sure you understand that you can form a lasting bond with a woman you met just about anywhere.
  2. Q: When will I meet someone who likes me? A: That’s entirely up to you. Yes, that answer might irk you, but getting a woman to like you requires some expertise that has little to do with memorizing ‘efficient’ pick-up lines or trying out all the recent fashion trends. You’ll start meeting not just one, but several women who want to be around you when you understand what powerful subliminal messages your body language transmits to women. Also, you will significantly improve your odds when you start genuinely putting yourself out there, trusting your ability to charm someone, and feeling comfortable in your own skin.
  3. Q: When should I contact her again? A: There are no clear-cut, by-the-book dating tips to this one. However, when it comes to establishing time frames for doing something right in a relationship, you should know that withholding contact simply because you’re trying to play hard-to-get will bring you nowhere. At best, it will start a brief, much too complicated relationship with someone who is insecure enough to play right into such mind games. As long as your date knows that you are leading a balanced life, which includes socializing, work, hobbies and special interests, she will appreciate you getting back to her and take it as a sign of genuine interest. If, on the other hand, she perceives you as someone with too much time on their hands, she will run off anyway, at some point or another.
  4. 4.      Q: How can I tell if she really likes me? A: Listen, instead of just hearing; look, instead of just seeing. A woman’s interest can be ‘read’ in her body language, first of all. Then, once the two of you get to know each other better, any signs of reciprocity and compromise should also be read into as a clear sign of affection. If she’s remembering the name of your favorite baseball player/MMORPG clan, chances are she’s a keeper.
  5. 5.      Q: Does ‘The One’ exist? A: Depends on who you ask. Do you know any couple that’s been together for decades? They will tell you it definitely does. Got any recently heartbroken friends? They will most likely argue for the contrary. Human companionship, for the large part, is a matter of perspective.

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